I've exchanged several emails with the two English professors I mentioned previously, Mrs. Kelly Centrelli and Mrs. Victoria Fedden. Both women possess a passion and fervor for the written arts that inspires and propels me to action. At their suggestion, I've decided to forego a literary theory course for now and pursue a literature survey course instead. I've opted to do World Literature I and II, and combine them into one rather intensive course. Sort of a "Greatest Hits" of literature starting with Gilgamesh all the way to the 20th century.
Designing the course itself is time consuming. I've spent quite a bit of time emailing Kelly and Victoria to get their input on what they consider to be "must-reads," as well as almost two hours tonight building a tentative syllabus for the course based off of their suggestions and several online syllabuses (or "syllabi," if you prefer...)
One of my main goals in this first course is to get the practice designing a course that can be self-taught. I'm finding the internet is a gold mine of resources. From real university syllabuses, to online lectures, study guides, and discussion notes, to the reading materials themselves, I have everything I need at my fingertips. Hopefully.
I submitted my tentative syllabus to my two pseudo professors, and I'm anxiously awaiting their responses. I'm sure they will suggest some tweaking, but as soon as I get the green light I will begin! The course will include various readings, lectures, and discussion questions, and will most likely include several smaller papers and two large papers. I will post the syllabus when it is finalized.
I'm excited! No really, I am. My secondary goal in this course is "to not look stupid at parties." I'm looking forward to reading some of these classics that most undergrads or even highschoolers have had the opportunity to read and discuss, so that if someone mentions it in conversation, I'll be able to hold my own!
On a personal note, I've been reflecting a lot about this entire journey ahead of me. Most of my friends are very supportive, so, I thank you all for that. I was thinking that this is actually a poetic complement to my being homeschooled most of my life. It bears a remarkable resemblance to the educational structure that I had growing up. The only difference is I no longer have a mother to keep me on track. Nor do I have to submit a portfolio of my work to the state for approval. Those are some pretty big motivators that I'm missing. I'm not known for being very self-motivated or self-disciplined in the first place, so this will be an exceptionally difficult journey for me to complete. Or even follow with a remote semblance of consistency.
But I am a fool not to try.
I admit, I'm very afraid. I'm afraid of public failure. I'm afraid that having a baby in January will be more exhausting than anticipated, and I will put this project aside (and never pick it back up again.) I'm afraid that teaching myself will be either too overwhelming, or totally fruitless. I'm afraid that the work itself will be over my head, and that my pride will suffer when I don't achieve the highest marks (or whatever the equivalent of that would be in a self-taught, non-graded atmosphere.) I'm afraid that I'll be wasting my time with all of this.
Well, we will see how it all turns out. For now, one step at a time.
You all have my permission to kick my ass if you see me slacking, though. I know I'll need it!
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